V is for Vergence

The third circle of how we see others and ourselves is the magic part. Our eyes move together on a Brainspot which is called convergence. Far from the dazed stare we have when we are stressed out (aka the 1000 mile stare), we find the spot in our visual field that connects to the issue we most want solved. There is stillness, certainty and insights at this spot. It answers the desperate question of where is it that we need to put our attention to feel better.

I call it magic because instead of seeing myself as victim or villain, I am trusting in the vulnerable place where the two polarities collide. I learned this when I went back to school to become a therapist after my incurable cancer diagnosis. I found a visual and psychological technique called Brainspotting that helped me (and my clients) to emerge from a collapsed tunnel vision that naturally happens when we feel shut down and hopeless.

This is the also the voice of “Busted” who is the part of me that thrives in crisis especially as she receives the help she so desperately needs. Most people feel better when they are calm and relaxed; Busted feels better when she sees clarity in the middle of chaos, the light at the end of the tunnel.

In Brainspotting, this is the time of powerful attunement which the therapist provides by reading eye movements and reflexes so that the worst feelings have biological and psychological presence and healing.